Still In Love
by LE McMurray
Summary: After Sha're's funeral Daniel goes walking and meets someone unexpected.


Author's Notes: Thanks to Stonedtoad for betaing.

* * *

I saw it in his eyes that time in the hospital when the clone of him turned into his son, when Sara hugged him I saw it. He was still in love with her.

Jack doesn't talk about his life before the Stargate much, just like I don't. Mostly because there's nothing I can do about it but he could do something about that.

Since I lost Sha're I wondered more and more why he didn't just go and talk to her, try and work things out, get her back. I couldn't get my wife back, he could.

x

It was pure coincidence that I ran into her. I hadn't planned on meeting this woman ever but my wonderful luck struck again.

Sha're had died three days before, three days since my whole world just imploded. After her funeral I was made to go through another of Janet's medical exams before she would let me go home.

When she finally let me out I was intercepted by Teal'c.

"Teal'c, please just let me out of here," I said softly, "You did the right thing but I need some space."

He gave me that 'I only have your best interests at heart' look before he nodded and stepped away from me. I took a deep breath before walking towards the elevator once more. This time Sam blocked my way out.

"Daniel, where are you going?" she gave me her gentle concerned look.

"Home," I replied quickly, "I need to get out of here."

"Do you want some company?"

Yes, I wanted company. I wanted Sha're's company but that wasn't going to happen and anger suddenly boiled in me again. Only due to years of suppressing my feelings I managed not to snap at her.

"I'm fine Sam," I gave her a half-hearted smile, "I just want to spend some time alone."

"Sure," she hugged me before she headed away.

Continuing my journey to get to the elevator I came across the last obstacle and the hardest, Jack.

"Jack, I'm going home and getting some sleep," I said before he could say anything, "I just need some time alone."

He placed his hand on my shoulder, "I know Danny."

I bit my lip as he said the nickname I had always refused. My parents would call me that and I never, ever let anyone else, until him. The affection for me was something I couldn't handle just now and I wanted to pull away but I couldn't move.

"It's just," Jack gave a wry smile, "Kasuf wanted me to make sure you were alright."

"I'm fine Jack," I replied mechanically, "Tell him not to worry."

"Get some rest," he murmured as he let me get into the elevator.

x

The cool air hit me as I stepped out of the mountain. I walked through the car park finding my car and getting in leaving behind this place as fast as I could.

Driving towards my apartment I wondered when it had happened? When my life had become a magnet for pain, when I became a death mark on all those I loved?

I parked automatically not really thinking about what I was doing. I passed my neighbours robotically responding to their greetings trying desperately to get away from everyone. Finally I reached my apartment and entered it closing and locking the door behind me. Looking around it suddenly hit me.

Sha're was dead.

She'd never see this apartment, she'd never get to laugh at my collection of artefacts and she'd never lie beside me in the bed I'd bought for us.

It was so strange that in all the time I'd been here I'd never, ever slept on the other side. I kept on one side as though she was there and now she never would be.

Suddenly I started to cry.

I hadn't cried since it had happened, I hadn't been able to believe it but standing in this cold, empty room it hit me. I slid down the wall the pain I was feeling just overflowing. I curled into a ball hot tears flowing down my cheeks. Finally I stopped feeling drained but I couldn't go to sleep.

I washed my face before pulling on a sweatshirt and grabbing my keys. I started to walk.

Direction didn't matter; I just wanted to get away from that empty place I lived in.

x

I was walking through an area that had houses a bit like where Jack lived. Places where families lived. I could hear kids laughing and watched as a man grabbed the little girl running around the garden by the waist spinning her.

"Again Daddy," she squealed with laughter.

A woman joined them giving the man a kiss and I squeezed my eyes shut as tears threatened again. Turning away I started to walk again.

I saw a woman pulling shopping out of her car, as she turned to bump the door shut I saw another car speeding towards her.

"Look out," I cried running as she seemed to be frozen to the spot.

Diving I grabbed her out of the road rolling both of us away as the car kept going without even stopping.

"Are you alright?" I asked looking down at her my eyes widening in amazement as I saw who was lying below me.

"I'm fine," my best friends ex-wife replied.

Standing up I reached out to help her suddenly wincing as she touched my hand.

"That doesn't look good," she said standing up and taking a hold of my right arm.

Looking down at it I saw a long gash in my arm and the swelling around my wrist.

"Oh no," I sighed in annoyance.

"Come on in," she smiled, "I'll clean it up before you go see a doctor."

* * *

"Ow," I winced as she started to clean my arm.

"Sorry," Sara smiled at me, "I forgot to say it might hurt a bit."

"It's alright Sara," I said without thinking before remembering we hadn't given each other names.

She stared at me stepping back, "How did you know my name?"

I bit my lip, "I…em…we sort of met a few years ago."

"Really?" suspicion filled her voice.

"In the hospital when Jack…" I trailed off as her eyes widened in amazement.

"I recognise you now," she said, "You work with Jack?"

I nodded.

She shrugged, "So you're part of whatever secret thing Jack is into these days. Why are you here?"

"I was out walking," I told her, "I had no idea you lived here."

"Well I'm glad you were walking here," Sara said, "Those idiots could have killed me. So do you have a name?"

"Daniel," I replied softly.

"Well I'll fix up your arm then get you to the hospital."

"Actually I should return to the base," I sighed, "Janet knows everything I'm allergic to. Not to mention if I appear with a bandaged arm I'll be subjected to her tender care anyway."

Sara laughed and started cleaning my arm again.

x

After sitting silently while Sara bandaged my arm I felt I had to say something.

"I'm sorry," I told her.

"For what?" she looked at me confused.

"For bringing up painful memories," I sighed, "I know what that's like."

She suddenly stopped and leaned down to look in my eyes, "What happened?"

I dropped my eyes; I hadn't meant to bring up painful memories for myself either. Sara made me look at her and suddenly I was crying again.

"Daniel?" she asked softly.

"My…my wife died," I said grief-stricken, trying very hard to stop the tears falling from my eyes.

"Oh I'm sorry," she whispered pulling me into her arms and letting me cry on her shoulder, "When did she die?"

"Three days ago," I whispered anguished, "The funeral was today."

I felt I should pull away but I had no strength left in me to fight against the grief that was engulfing me. I started to gulp for breath as I managed to calm down before pulling away sheepishly from Sara.

"Sorry," I whispered, "I shouldn't have burdened you with that."

Her pale blue eyes held mine, "You obviously needed to let go of that. Don't worry about it."

"Thank you," I said sincerely, "I should get back to the base. Get my arm checked out."

"Well I could drive you," Sara said, "But I think you should probably call someone to pick you up. Is there someone?"

I hesitated. The one person I wanted to come was Jack but I didn't want to put them in an awkward position.

"Daniel?" she asked again, "What's wrong?"

"I'd have to give Jack a call," I said to her, "It might be better just to drop me at my apartment then I could get him to come there."

Sara picked up the phone, "Dial."

x

I don't know what Jack was more surprised about. Sara phoning him from nowhere or the fact she was phoning for him to come pick me up.

It was almost an hour after she phoned that the doorbell rang and there stood Jack.

"What the hell happened?" Jack demanded of me.

"He saved my life," Sara said sternly, "Pulled me out of the road of joy-riders speeding towards me."

"What?" Jack stared at me, "You can't stay out of trouble can you Danny?"

I dropped my head away from his gaze as Sara took his arm. She pulled him away from where I could hear what was being said. I watched them.

Despite everything they'd been through, what they'd lost I could see how much they still loved each other. Jack gently touched Sara's arm and I could see they both wanted to hold each other so badly. I knew that feeling well.

"Okay Daniel," Jack came over to me, "Let's get you back to Janet."

"Thank you again," Sara said as we walked to the door.

Jack looked as though he was going to say something but instead turned away.

"Oh for Gods sake Jack," I snapped at him, "You still love her. Don't just leave when you want to say something. If you don't you'll wish…" I trailed off as tears started to build again, "Jack, don't lose your chance."

Jack placed his arm around me as I started to cry again. I felt so stupid that I couldn't stop doing this.

"It's okay Danny," he whispered, "It's okay."

Sara placed a hand on my shoulder, "Jack, how about you two come for dinner tomorrow night? So I can thank Daniel properly."

"We'll see you then," Jack said moving me to his car.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Sara smiled through the window before we drove away.

x

Jack and I went for dinner the next night. Jack then went to dinner the next night and the next. After a few months Sara moved in with Jack and then a few weeks after that they remarried. I watched them remarry and one thought suddenly occurred to me.

If Sha're hadn't died, if it hadn't been the day of her funeral I never would have met Sara and she and Jack would never have been reunited.

As painful as it was to think of my own beloved wife, knowing that made it easier to accept her death. Losing her meant my best friend received the happiness he deserved and I knew Sha're would be proud that something good came from her death.


End file.
